I’ve struggled most of my life with accepting my purpose. As many do, I explored what feels, tastes, or sounds good to no avail. I brief moments of worldly success which cultivated my choices, but it was during the idle phases that I revealed who I am and who I was born to be.
I took many paths to the discovery of my life purpose; acknowledging my selfish internal dialogs exposed my uninspired actions and beliefs. From the age of sixteen, I've struggled with God's call. I received a very definite message from God asking me to follow Him, but I ran as far as I could in the opposite direction. Many experiences, conversations, and circumstances confirmed the 'calling.'
God’s plan for me seemed bigger than I was willing to accept, so fear and unyielding resistance designed my messy life. The highs and lows were of my own design, and looking back, the result was mediocre and indulgent. I intentionally made choices that kept me from God's purpose, yet I kept one foot in the door just in case. I don't know if I was afraid of what I might have to do, or who I might have to be. It was probably a mix of both. However, over the past ten years, I began creating opportunities that provided ways in which I could make a difference and play inside the 'spiritual' realm. My life hit extreme lows, yet I found the strength to keep my spirits up. I journeyed through the disappointments which grew exponentially to get my attention.
Finally, I uncovered my Life Purpose: Listening to the Voice of God Within. I instantly noticed the purpose of others and began to share what I heard. These conversations echoed my life purpose. I uncovered the simplicity if listening to the source of everything.
So how do I know if I am liking my life purpose? If the Voice of God is missing in those with whom I come into contact, it is missing inside of me. Upon recognizing the inconsistency, it becomes my responsibility to find the Voice for myself which will expand the possibility for others. Although I am not the source, I am the opening through which the dialogue may begin, and the Voice is your connection to your purpose, your reason for getting up in the morning, and that thing that has you smile in the mirror.
After exposing my Life Purpose Message, I began to examine my intentions and outcomes. What I discovered is that when my life was in alignment with my Life Purpose, my life blossoms and expands beyond his expectations. However, when I resist my Life Purpose, my life spirals into an abyss of hopelessness and depression.
My emergence has been resoundingly accepted with vigor. I have no idea where this is taking me, but since I have given God the reins, miracles are occurring daily.
Thank you for supporting me on this extraordinary journey.
I wrote this poem while sitting in church choir, during the sermon no less. That 15 minutes changed what I thought possible. The poem reveals who I was designed to be. God revealed Himself to me that day.
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Jonah 1: 1-3
Now the word of Jehovah came unto Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is come up before me. But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of Jehovah; and he went down to Joppa, and found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of Jehovah.